Mounts of Mayhem: Friends Arena
Published: November 20, 2025 - View official source
Have you ever been to the deep dark? It is not on my list of top trips, especially unprepared. If I ever find that sneaky sneak that left me down there with a warden… But fear not, your brave MC is back and better than ever. Even after my encounter with those spider jockeys...
As you can see, today’s arena is a large one. In fact, it’s an entire biome! Across these beautiful sunflower plains our pack of heroes have already started roaming around, searching for the antagonist. Our hero brought along some friends. We asked them not to, but they just neighed and trotted past us.
CHALLENGER: ROUND 5
NAME: Sophie “Calamity Oakley the Kid Cassidy” Austin
OCCUPATION: Horse whisperer, word writer
Strengths: Taming horses, riding horses, petting horses, thinking about horses
Weaknesses: Feigning interest in non-horse things
Survivability rating: 2/5
Our group are each on their own noble horse and one extra noble donkey. I have no idea who this group will be facing off against, but it’s only a matter of time before they show themselves. Our challenger(s?) have been riding in and out of V formations for hours now, very few blocks have been unscouted.
Oh look! There are some wild horses! Maybe they came to cheer on their fellow quadrupeds. The riders have spotted them too. They’re riding over. They’re dismounting. They’re… incredibly distracted by the new horses. Hey! Champions! Stay focused!
Too late. They’re taming the new horses. Might as well settle in, dear reader. We’re going to be here all day.
Hopefully they’ll have tamed all the horses by nightfall.
Hopefully, that camel husk over yonder is just passing through.
Abandon all hope, dear audience, because that camel husk is not only charging towards our heroes, but it’s also not alone. It’s an entire herd of camel husks! This is just one of many good reasons to always check if a desert biome is nearby – because camel husks always spawn in with two hostile riders... husks and parched!
The husks riding them won’t burn in the sun, and even though we have a pack of heroes they’re significantly outnumbered when you count the parched riding with them. Even with our group of champions, even with the donkey (whom I think should win on principle alone) they don’t stand a chance.
So why don’t they look scared? Even though all of them have their spears ready and enchanted, they seem oddly calm. And those smiles… they remind me of something…
Almost like a happy ghast. Actually, just like a happy ghast! See, there’s one just above us! Look at that smile, identical. It’s even got four riders on it! I, too, love an aerial view. But I would stop descending now, or they’re going to land in the middle of the fray. Hey! There’s a challenge going on down here! Save yourselves, it’s about to get really ugly!
They pay no heed to my cries and land by the newly tamed horses. How fortuitous for them! Now they can gallop away to safety. If only they weren’t going the completely wrong way. They’re headed towards the incoming hoard. I don’t know what’s happening to the world today, everyone is just losing all sense of self-preservation.
The horseback heroes signal each other, confirming all my suspicions that all equestrian enthusiasts know each other. They form a circle around the hoard, aiming their spears before charging forth in a synchronized attack. Is this dressage?! Dance, horses! Dance!
That was the most elegant victory to date! How lucky they were that their reinforcements arrived just in time next to more mounts that were raring to go. Almost as if it was planned.
The reigning victors are riding off into the sunset, and to them I tip my hat and give a final yee and haw. Until next time, partner! It’s time to get this rodeo back on the road!